The Gooberland Gazette #29

• Dozens of Americans watching Blue Bloods reruns on ionTV witnessed the announcement last night at 2:13AM
  
  
• Final Boss Sour has finally introduced its first product under the Level 4 sour stamp: Sour Cherry Lemon Lime
  
  
• According to beta testers within the company,  these cherries, infused with natural lemon-lime flavoring and brutal sour acids are sure to make customers “toes curl into tiny tootsie rolls”
  
  

• One dude was quoted as saying “The sour takes off way faster than level 3, has more turbulence, but somehow nails the landing without leaving the tongue runway in flames”
  
  

• The Gazette urges sour heads of all levels to approach with caution

• Michael N., his brave children and the children’s grandpa, worked together to help Hank and Quinnie dodge the obstacles at Frumpkin Hill Farms and defeat miniboss Lardsworth to complete the level
  
  
• The family guided the heroic duo over the bottomless pig slop, through the serrated windmill, and around the combine harvesters to reach Lardsworth’s villa
  
  
• It looked grim when Hank was struck by a flying hen launched from one of the farm’s many chicken cannons, but he was able to find some sour blueberry power-ups in a crate floating above the pumpkin patch
  
  
• The greedy swine Lardsworth, angry to be distracted from his third breakfast, proved to be a mighty foe, hitting the team with running powerslams, bear hugs and pitchfork tosses
  
  
• However, Qunnie was able to ground pound him into a daze and finish him with an uppercut
  
  
• The event was chronicled in Michael N.’s February 5-star review

DAD IN D+ BUNNY COSTUME LEAVES PRESCHOOLERS SOUR ABOUT EASTER