SOUR SLAMS WITH SPICY IN A ‘BRAWL IN A BAG’ MATCH ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
- Available today, the drop is the most daring flavor combo to come out of the sour fruit startup: mangos, strawberries, kiwis, pineapple, tajin, chamoy and level 2 sour acids. Includes tongs to protect your digits!
- Ringside announcer, Hugo Sandwichowich, described the taste as, “first the tanginess of the citrus and fruits clotheslines your taste buds, then the heat of the chili DDT’s your salivary glands, right before the intense sourness of the acids chokeslams your glossopharyngeal nerve”
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You want some? Come get some!
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GOOBERLANDIANS WEARY OF THE FINAL BOSS ALLIANCE WITH SPICY
- The critters of Gooberland have been through a lot since the Final Boss Sour returned from exile and assumed power
- In just over 12 months, everything that they have loved about their homeland has been turned sour
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It’s not just the fruit, but also the milk, the cheese, the chips and the hot dogs
- The sourness has extended into entertainment. In the new Dictator's cut of Titanic, Rose spends the whole three hours bitterly complaining that the iceberg was an inside job, orchestrated to sink her social standing
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And while Hank and Quinnie’s brave crusade to conquer the Boss has provided hope, the new release of Final Boss Sour Chamoy, might have set those hopes en fuego
- Eldergloom Forrest councilman Bill Gerbil tells The Gazette “The sourness alone is too hard for my fluffle to handle, I don’t even know how to tell my pups that spicy might be coming to town”
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DID YOU RECENTLY LOSE A SOUR AND SPICY GIVEAWAY? ARE YOU OVER 18? YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO COMPENSATION
- Are you a loser? If so, keep reading
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Final Boss Sour and Crippling Hot Sauce recently teamed up on a giveaway and rewarded 10 fans a year’s supply of hot sauce and sour fruit
- Evidence has come to light that while the 10 contestants won, thousands lost, and that’s not fair!
- We’re the law offices of Nit, Pick and Sue, LLP and we’d love to hear about how you lost
- As part of a recent landmark settlement with Final Boss Sour, losers like you are entitled to compensation that you don’t deserve
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To claim your rewards, simply text LOSER to 424-544-3838 and we will take your case
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Standard loser messaging rates apply
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FRANCIS FROM DENVER RIDES INTO THE LEAD BEFORE BLACK FRIDAY
SOURHEAD RANKINGS (FALL):
1.FRNC S - DNV, CO......348 bags
2.ERK O - NY, NY........312 bags
3.JNFR H - WSTPRT, CT...300 bags
4.DVD B - PHL, PN.......300 bags
5.DSTN T - FSHRS, IN....276 bags
How many bags have you've defeated?? Message us on Instagram to join the standings.
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Got a Scoop?:
Reach out to us at: scoop@finalbosssour.com
If we run it, you win free stuff!
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