Led by Scabitha, Mason must make haste with the sour ki-melons to avoid a sha-booping from the Rotbarry Hagart
With only thirteen hours to make their way through an extraordinary maze filled with riddles, shifting walls, and bizarre creatures, the hot couple crosses the portal to deliver the goods to the Final Boss for the August Drop
SWEEPSTAKES ENTRY INFLATION EXPLODES AS SECRETARY LUGJAW STARES STUPIDLY
Every economist in Gooberland saw this coming
Four weeks ago, when the Final Boss Sour announced that all purchases of his sour fruit would come with an entry to win $100,000 or every video game console and game ever, experts thought that although the timing was suspicious, the gesture might provide a sustainable stimulation to the Gooberlandian GDP
However, when the sweepstakes announcement failed to sufficiently distract his base from the allegations that his previous marriage to a chain-clad Princess Petunia was less than consensual, he began rolling out multipliers
When 2x entries became 3x last week, his entire board of economic advisors were calling for a crash
Rather than heed the warnings, The Final Boss fired the entire committee and inserted Lugjaw – miniboss of Pineapple Level 3 – to Treasury Secretary
The meathead jaguar – whose financial qualifications are that he thinks CNBC is where he buys his max protein – happily rubberstamped the proposal today to increase the entries to 5x
Now the economy is in freefall and the sweepstakes is set to end at 11:59pm on Sunday August 31st
CENTRAL MICHIGAN FOOTBALL BECOMES OVERNIGHT MAC CHAMPION FAVORITE THANKS TO NEW SOUR FRUIT ARCADE DISPLAY IN CAMPUS CONVENIENCE STORE
Fire Up Chips! Your local sour candy convenience options just got leveled up
This week an arcade machine stocked with Final Boss Sour was installed at an undisclosed convenience store in Mount Pleasant, MI on the Central Michigan campus
And while the actual video game isn’t real and playable yet (c’mon AI, get there), Chips players and fans can quickly grab the most sour candy ever without having to drop a quarter in the fake coin slot
What does this have to do with the Chippewas chances on the gridiron?
Gazette college football insider Flem Fleaflicker explains:
“Since eating extremely sour candy promotes healthy risk taking, we think Head Coach Matt Drinkall will go for it on 4th and manageable and will continue to bring the pressure on defense late in close games”
To honor both Drinkall’s inaugural season and the first ever display of the arcade display, Final Boss Sour will send a surprise to any Chips fan or player that sends photo proof of finding and defeating a level in front of the arcade machine to (424) 544 3838
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Ends 8/31/25. Must be: i) a legal US resident of the 50 US or DC and age of majority or ii) a legal resident of Canada (excl. Quebec) and age of majority at time of entry. Subject to Official Rules sharedsweeps.com/rules. Void where prohibited. Sponsored By Shared Sweeps.
No longer want to receive these emails? {% unsubscribe %}. {{ organization.name }} {{ organization.full_address }}
