When seeking advice on what to put in your body, its always a safe bet to trust a middle-aged man in a Monkees wig, train conductor cap and Nickelodeon T-shirt
That’s why sour fruit startup Final Boss Sour is encouraging its noob customers who are unable to get past Level 1 to learn the sour stamina techniques of UncleBillASMR – a completely relatable guy who has lived and overcome the same challenges
The results speak for themselves. Isa from NJ tells The Gazette, “I hit a real roadblock on Cranberry Level 3 until UncleBill taught me to milkboard myself and bark at the moon”
And while UncleBill is available for privates and small group sessions, these are generally discouraged
FASHION
GRIMESQUARE FASHION WEEK FEATURES GOOBERLAND’S HOTTEST TREND: THE SHIRT AND NO PANTS LOOK
It’s fall fashion week in GrimeSquare and the featured look is the Donald Duck
Made popular by Mickey’s grumpy buddy back in the 1930’s, pearl-clutching puritans forced the pantsless look underground, where it survived only at factory raves and pooge balooberings
But with the rise of rebel heroes Hank and Quinnie, Gen Z Gooberlandians have brought the look back in fierce force
When asked if his acid-coated cranberry tee and bare-bottom 'fit was an intentional fashion statement, Hank the Honeybadger told The Gazette “What? I guess I didn’t have the right tail-hole jeans or whatever”
Quinnie attributes her ‘blouse for the whole house’ motif to her humble roots growing up in the gum-scented underbrush and adding “Me sis is wearing the skirt”
But lest one think the look is limited to the rebellion, the sour empire has also co-opted the style this fall
Connie – the carney-weasel miniboss of blueberry level 3 – proudly sports a “belt to nowhere”
And perhaps no one pulls of the Donald Duck more than Level 1 boss Lardsworth, whose overstuffed abdomen provides enough canopy for his sour blueberries
Whether rebellion or empire, GrimeSquare Fashion Week has proven one truth: pants are so last season
In the unpaid and unsolicited photo op, Jazz beams over the twinge tangly watermelon coated halfmoon kiwis like they are his date to the Oscars
As sourheads might’ve predicted, Chisholm went on to have a great afternoon, going 1-4 and scoring the winning run in the 3-1 contest with the AL East leader
Thanks to the photo capture, Final Boss Sour’s August drop is now proven to have a .250 MLB average and perform well against right-handed throwback style pitching
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Ends 8/31/25. Must be: i) a legal US resident of the 50 US or DC and age of majority or ii) a legal resident of Canada (excl. Quebec) and age of majority at time of entry. Subject to Official Rules sharedsweeps.com/rules. Void where prohibited. Sponsored By Shared Sweeps.
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