KEITH LEE TRIES SOUR STRAWBERRIES…AND LIKES THEM ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
- When the video dropped on Monday night, all bosses and servants in the Final Boss’ pungent dungeon held their breath
- Lee, TikTok’s top food critic who is known for making, but mostly breaking, brands and restaurants with his brutally honest reviews, took the Final Boss challenge
- And while level 3 busted him up, the overall review was stellar
- Snitches say The Final Boss was so pleased he gave his henchman an extra ration of kimchi at breakfast on Tuesday
- With the positive review of the strawberries, and following Final Boss Sour’s second boom from the Costco guys back in September, the startup sour fruit brand now has the approval of two of the four TikTokers parodied in the October SNL sketch
- Through a spokesgoon, the Final Boss has officially issued a challenge to Nara Smith and Harry Daniels to complete the sketch bingo card
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HANK HITS A SOUR NOTE ON THE OCARINA, BLOWS CHANCE TO SAVE GOOBERLAND
- When Derkus launched his Sour Dust Particle Collider, Hank knew he needed help
- Derkus’ technology, influence, and overall smugness was proving to be a formidable ally to the Final Boss, so Hank went old school
- On a tip from Darunia, Hank plucked the Ocarina of Time out of the Moody Marsh in the Goomire Wetlands. His goal: travel back in time a couple weeks to prevent the Collider from surfacing in Northwest Gooberland
- But in typical Hank fashion, he skimped out on rehearsing, and hit a sour squawk during his performance of The Song of Time
- The strangle toot resulted in Hank being transported 84 years into the future, where decades of Final Boss rule has left Gooberland in a total dumpster fire
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Too old and weak to fight whatever mutated cretins remained roaming the trash, Hank was forced to hit restart and return to Cranberry Level 1
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ON LAST DAY OF PROMOTION, WISTFUL HAT JUST HAPPY TO BE INCLUDED
- Today marks the final day of a historic run for Final Boss Sour’s Cyber Week promotional item “Greatest Hits (8-Pack) + Hat”
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And while much has been written about the triumphant limited return of fan-favorites like Level 4 Sour Cherry Lemon Lime and Level 2 Churro Apple Dippers, The Gazette’s lifestyle editor Shaina Shoveler caught up with First Edition Final Boss Hat to get his take on the wild ride:
SS: Hat, what is your take on the wild ride
HAT: Going into this, I was quite nervous. Would I be accepted for the adjustable 5-panel work of craftsmanship I know I am, or would I be mistaken for cheap merch stuffed in last minute to jack up the perceived value?
But in the end, I feel completely embraced from my cotton twill to my stylish visor
And look, I know that it was my boxmates like Level 1 Sour Colada and Level 4 Yuzu Pineapple that really brought the boys to the yard, but I am grateful to have played whatever role was needed of me
I know that when the sour dust settles and all the fruit is gobbled, I’ll be around a little longer to tell the story of our Cyber Week glory
- Readers are encouraged to experience Hat’s story firsthand by picking up the Greatest Hits box on its last day, today
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FALL '24 CHAMPIONS CROWNED: FRANCIS, ERIK & DAVID CLIMB THE PODUM TO ACCEPT THEIR MEDALS
SOURHEAD RANKINGS (FALL FINAL):
1.FRNC S - DNV, CO......384 bags
2.ERK O - NY, NY........348 bags
3.DVD B - PHL, PN.......336 bags
4.RSDH L - MT VRN, NY...336 bags
5.ZCH B - LSBRG, VA.....336 bags
How many bags have you've defeated?? Message us on Instagram to join the standings.
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Got a Scoop?:
Reach out to us at: scoop@finalbosssour.com
If we run it, you win free stuff!
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