The box had sourheads everywhere trading their gelt for sour so they could light up their tastebuds, alongside a candle, each night.
The multi-pack was so popular, Final Boss Sour has decided to bring a small amount back to give those that missed out a chance to spin the dreidel of sourness
Everyone is bloated, inflamed and sick from holiday indulgences and travel
The streets are decorated with crispy, multi-colored, skeletal christmas trees and garbage cans overflowing with plastic packaging and Barbie boxes
Work has started, but the kids are for some reason not back in school yet
The Final Boss loves this time so much, he has named it National Slog Day and declared Ben Folds Five 1997 hit Brick as the holiday’s anthem
In a rare public address, the FB said “Nothing captures the bleakness and misery of this time of year more than this song. Citizens of Gooberland, I am a brick and you are all drowning slowly”
FIRST ANNUAL FINAL BOSS SOUR BOWL PICKS UP A FEW STREAMS
Colorado School of Mines topped University of the Incarnate Word in an 8-6 double overtime thriller yesterday to cap off the first ever Final Boss Sour Bowl
The unsanctioned bowl took place at Kenner Discovery Health Sciences Academy in Kenner, LA, home of the high school Swamp Owls
The game was live streamed on Only Fans, marking the service’s first attempt to throw its hat in the live sports ring
Mines’ fullback Rocko Pilgrim was awarded MVP for punching in the winning 2-point conversion and got to hoist the gold plated Level 2 Cranberry Trophy
As per new tradition, the winning Orediggers got to feast on the game’s Back Judge, who was wearing a uniform made entirely of Level 3 Strawberries
Despite being asked to cleanup after the game was over, the 6 fans in attendance agreed that any kind of football is better than no football
